Proverbs 31: The Godly Girls Checklist?

Proverbs 31. It's one of the first things I was pointed to when I started looking into Christianity. It was inspired by something that King Lemel's mother taught him as to what to look for in a good wife. Today it is used as a guideline as to how to be (or how to prepare to be) a good wife, but could focusing too much on these verses cause you major problems in your walk with God?

When I first began searching for my faith I decided I was going to dive in at the deep end and become the best Christian women in the world, (can't lie, I'm cringing looking back on myself.) in order to become that woman I had to be the Proverbs 31 woman; that choice made my life miserable.

I was reading an article a few weeks ago that was talking about how society provides us with a never-ending, constantly changing checklist; a checklist that godly women should ignore and instead focus on God. The article also mentioned how Christian women should look to Gods standard of what a woman should be giving Proverbs 31 as an example. This is where the article lost me, all they did was replace one checklist with another. I have seen so many sites listing the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman, however, I will not be listing them here. Why? Because I do not wish to add another Proverbs 31 woman checklist to the internet. I know many sites and articles will say on them don't use this as a checklist but lets be honest here, if you see something with the catchy title of "31 Proverbs 31 characteristics you should be cultivating!*" you are going to look down that list of 31 characteristics as things you need to be doing; as tasks that need to be checked off the list.

Think for a moment about why it is we use checklists? Some people use them as a way to remember what they need to get done, some use them to keep track of their day, but I think we all at some point have used a checklist because it feels so good to put that little tick in the box. Many of us have used one because it feels good to know that we have accomplished something, no matter how small. Next question who do we use them for? Sure, we may be helping family and friends with it but it's not them checking the items off the list, it's you. You are the one who is using and benefiting from it. So, we use them for our own benefit to feel good about our accomplishments; that's why it's a problem to use Proverbs 31 as a checklist. You see if we are using it as a checklist we are being self-focused, using it to judge and measure ourselves rather than leaving it to God. There are many attributes that the Lord may want to instil in you that are not in Proverbs 31; but if you are too focused on making sure you have every single quality of a Proverbs 31 woman down that you may not hear or listen to His guidance or teaching. If you're feeling discouraged by the list of rules you have to follow to be the Proverbs 31 woman, or if you feel lost now after realising the checklist you were clutching on to was holding you back don't worry. I felt that way too when I finally put down the checklist; let me tell you what I did to pick myself back up and get back to the woman God made me to be.

Firstly, I prayed. Something so simple but something that is so often overlooked. I prayed that God would help me to let go of that list of qualities I'd decided I had to possess in order to be the perfect Christian woman. I prayed Proverbs 3:5-6, that I wouldn't lean on my own understanding, that I would look to him and ask him to make my path straight. I prayed that the Lord would reveal to me what he wanted me to learn, that he would guide me to where I needed to be to pick up the traits he desired for me to have.

Next, I closed Proverbs 31 for a long time I didn't go back to it for many months; if you are constantly comparing yourself to someone or something the best thing you can do is take some time away from it. Instead, I read elsewhere in the Bible. Going back to the first step I prayed; I asked the Lord to lay on my heart where he wanted me to read and what he wanted me to learn from it. I read Ruth, Jonah, Esther, James and Luke; I learnt so much now that I had let God take control rather than trying to be a superwoman all by myself.

Lastly, I decided to look at biblical women throughout the Bible. Every single one had a different story; different struggles, different strengths and weaknesses but the one thing they all had in common? God. That's it, that's the answer. Listen to Him, not a checklist, not a list of rules, not anyone else. Listen to Him as the women of the Bible, including the Proverbs 31 woman, did.

There is nothing wrong with striving for the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman as she is a wonderful role model, but do not let her become an idol in your life. Don't let the joy of putting a tick next to a verse rule over the joy that God provides when you listen and trust in him.

I want to challenge you today to put down your checklist, whether it's the one that was given to us from society or the one from the verses of Proverbs 31. Even if you only put it down for one day give yourself a chance to feel what life is like without the expectations of others controlling your life, a chance to hear Gods plan for you. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on how we can incorporate the teachings of Proverbs 31 into our lives without letting the checklist rule.

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*This is an example of a title, not a real article.