Insecure

A
Dec 13, 2018
6 min read

A close up of a woman wearing an orange knitted jumper with black painted nails touching her collarbone

Sadly I think everyone on this planet at one time or another has felt in some way insecure about the way they look. It could be your skin, hair, teeth, body shape or anything that the little nagging voice in the back of your head is telling you is wrong with your body. If you have heard that little voice you are not alone, I hear it too but now it's time to give it the boot!

Before we get into this topic I do want to make a small disclaimer; I am not a professor on this topic, I am speaking from my own personal experience and research in hopes that it will benefit someone else.

I also wish to note that outward appearance is not everything and that we should also be focusing on our heart and personality too. I am not writing this post to imply that we must constantly fight the outward beauty standards of the world; but there are many people, myself included, who have or still do feel insecure about their appearance. If this post can help even one person to overcome that insecurity and thank the Lord for the person he created then I shall consider this a success.

You see you are not the problem, you never were and never will be!

The problem is the world. Let's break this down,

When you are born you have no idea about the concept of beauty that doesn't exist to you until you get a little older. Sadly the age at which children realise there are beauty standards is getting lower and lower, so as early as the age of 3 a child starts to realise that they have to be good looking for the world. Not only does the world teach them that they have to be beautiful, but it also teaches them that beautiful people are worth more. It shows that beautiful people are the ones who become rich and successful, have the best marriages and live happier lives. Growing up children see the beauty standards and how successful the beautiful people everywhere; they are on TV, in movies, advertisements, magazines, on the internet and in the people around them who are talking about their weight/other insecurities in a negative way or praising people who have changed the way they look to fit the standards set by society. They grow up with this construct already planted in their head from such a young age so the time they reach their adulthood it's already well ingrained into them that they should feel insecure about something and that they have to fix it in order to be beautiful and become happy.

Now let's talk about why the world does this. This one is a really short answer. Money. The beauty industry makes billions every year selling us fixes and cures to things that were never a problem until they told us they were. They will tell you your too big then sell you skinny teas (that are just laxatives in a pretty packaging;) or that you mustn't have any stretch marks (even though they are completely normal and natural) then sell you every oil, gel and lotion under the sun that's meant to get rid of every mark on your skin. Not only do they do that but they also keep the list of standards and problems going by adding to and changing it every few years. Have you ever noticed that every ten years or so the 'perfect' body shape changes, the 'right' way to wear your hair changes, the 'correct' clothing for your body type changes? They do this so that just as you have achieved perfection in their eyes you have to go and spend more money changing yourself again.

Okay so now we know what they do, how and why they do it, but how do we stop it?

Find and Replace

The first step is to recognise the lies that they are telling you so that you can replace them with the truth. So a lie could be that your freckles are ugly and have to be hidden, write down the lies that you find, (I am going to leave the name of a journal that really benefited me while I was combating lies in my own life down below.) Next, seek the truth. There are so many verses about this, here are just a few to get you started

"Since you are precious and honoured in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life." Isaiah 43:4 NIV

"And yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand." Isaiah 64:8 NLT

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14 ESV

God made you just the way you are, He loves you the way you are. So from the lie earlier; the truth is that God gave you a wonderful constellation of beautiful freckles and they are amazing.

Don't Give In!

When the world is telling you that you must have the latest fashions, you must cover yourself in makeup, must lose weight or have the 'right' haircut. Don't Give In! I know that it can be really hard not to just throw in the towel and change for the world especially when is not just the media but your friends too; don't worry I have some tips for you to combat it.

Out with the old and in with the new

It's time to have a clean out of the influences in your life. Is there a certain magazine that makes you feel insecure when you read it? Get rid of it! Maybe there are some Instagram accounts that keep posting about weight loss and skinny teas that make you feel uncomfortable? Shoot them a message about how it makes you feel and educate them; if they don't stop posting that content? hit that little unfollow button. I know there are some things that you can't throw out such as advertisements but that's where the next tip comes in to play.

Read, Petition, Pray, Repeat

There are some things that make us feel awful that are stuck as a part of life on earth, so are we just meant to accept them and move on? Um, no! So what do we do about them? First, we renew ourselves by reading the truth to combat their lies as we learnt how to do earlier. Next, we fight. Say as an example there is a product that is advertising with a really harmful message that lowers not only your self-confidence but your friends too you can fight it. You and your friends can stop using that product and each sends a letter to the company explaining why. Comment on their online ads expressing your disappointment in the marketing choices they have used, and start a petition to get the ad removed or changed. While you are working remember to pray, Pray for the company, for all affected by the ads, ask God for his help and guidance. Give thanks to Jesus for all he has done for you; for your salvation, for the guidance, he is giving you, for the path that he has set you on. When you are done, take a break, read the Bible, pray and give thanks to the Lord then ask him where he wants to next; if he brings you to another ad like the last then start the process all over again.

Friendly chats

My last tip is for when it's friends and family who are making you feel insecure. With things they say not only about you but also about themselves and others. In these situations, I find the best thing to do is, to be honest. Talk with them about what they are saying and why they are saying it, educate them on the beauty industries brainwashing and how they can combat it too. Show them the scripture that backs up your case; together you can look up some resources that have some facts and statistics about the beauty industry, (I am also going to leave the name of a book that really helped me learn about the diet industry in particular and the hold they have over people today down below.) What about if they just don't listen? I know this might be hard to hear but some people just don't want to hear it; they may continue to talk and behave in a way that is damaging to you, in that situation the best course of action may be to take a break from that person and pray for them.

I said this back up at the beginning and I am going to say it again

You are not the problem, you never were and never will be!

I sincerely hope that this post has helped you to realise that you are a stunning and beautiful person just the way God made you and that you do not need to conform to the patterns of this world in order to feel that you are worth something.

Please let me know if this post helped you in any way, what you think of the worlds ever changing standards and if there is a feature that God gave you that you have ever felt insecure about but now praise him for.