In the Beginning...

Not an actual photo of me (my room is not that neat)

The story so far,

I started this quest to see if Christianity was for me around 2015 so I have been at this for quite a while; but whereas before it was more glancing at the bible and watching a few videos now its time to get serious.

You may think I am strange when you hear how I started searching for faith because it began in a most unlikely place; it began with documentaries about cults, (yes you read that right) cults and religious fundamentalists. Why did they make me want to find faith? At first, it was a desire to understand them, how people could give everything away, turn away from everyone they ever loved or cared about because someone claims they speak for (or are) God. Researching famous cults taught me so many things about the way they are run and who they are run by but it left me with some new questions; what do I believe? Do I believe in God? If so why? Or why not? If it came down to it would I be drawn into a cult like the ones I had been studying? The answer to the last question was clear (obviously no,) but the others couldn't be dismissed so easily no matter how hard I tried.

I was raised in a 'Christian' household, I use quotations because when I say Christian I mean; we celebrated Easter and Christmas, were taught a few select stories from the Bible (Creation, Noah's ark and the birth of Jesus are the only three I can think of off the top of my head from childhood...) and went to church 3 to 5 times a year. I also went to a Christian primary school for a few years (although they displayed no Christian values as I understand them but that is another post,) where I was made to sing "He's got the whole world in his hands" and pray 3 times a day without ever being taught why. During my early teen years I was sent to the local church youth group where I made some good friends and learnt at least the basics of the faith, alas when the most amazing youth leader ever left (miss you L) I left too and that was the end of me actually learning anything; however I continued working every year at the week-long club that the local church runs every summer, I still do it to this day.

I was pushed even further from the religion after I started to watch the news and read articles online about Christians being hateful towards; atheists, agnostics, believers in other faiths and even believers in the same faith. I wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything that would use a 2000-year-old book meant for good against people; after all, we're all human regardless of what is different about us we are all human. Watching (some, not all) Christians use the bible to hurt and put others down completely turned me against any conventional religion (I swear at one point I claimed I was religiously Klingon,) until now...

Where do I stand now? I don't know but that's okay, cause with some studying, reading, thought and time I will know. Who knows, if anyone ever reads this blog maybe you'll help me out... Regardless of what happens and how it ends, I will do my best to learn and my best to keep you updated...

Ready? Let's go...