No Resolutions?

It's almost time to say goodbye to 2018, a year that taught so many so much. You may be stepping into 2019 open-heartedly, unable to wait for what it's going to bring; or maybe you are terrified, uncertain of what will happen next or you are somewhere in between. Where ever you are I am sure that you have already started making that dreaded list. The list of resolutions.

Who knows what's on your list? Maybe it to go on a diet (and stick to it,) Or to put more consistent in your quiet time; It could be to study harder or make an effort to socialise more. I wonder if you felt like I did as I wrote out that list a few years ago. A sense of dread filling me as I put my pen to the paper, I was about to set in stone my commitment for this new year. Almost all of them were the same as the year before, ones I had failed and was determined to get right in the new year. As I wrote them I felt sick, I felt like a failure, I felt like it was hopeless no matter what I did I was never gonna make it or be good enough. I wasn't wrong. Out of a list of 8 resolutions I had broken 3 of them by January 7th and 5 of them by January 10th. Even after that, I tried again and again and again but every time I failed, I was a failure. I can remember crying myself to sleep thinking about how I couldn't even last a week without chocolate, how I couldn't keep up with my study schedule for 9 days. Many people told me I had no willpower, many said that I wasn't trying hard enough; as if I needed to feel any worse. As the new year rolled around again I could feel that dreadful feeling resurfacing, the pain of knowing I was going to fail again. As I was writing my list ready to take into 2017 with me I remember getting angry. I was frustrated at the having the same list, never getting it right. I was so angry I ripped it up and threw it in the air like confetti. I remember taking deep breaths as the paper floated down to the ground. I looked at them scattered across the floor, why was I letting those little shreds make me so unhappy? It was then I decided then and there that from then on I would have no resolutions!

You read that right, no resolutions. Not one. Not even a small one. I walked into 2017 with no rules, no list, no banned or forced activities and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. You may read that and think I felt free as I came into the new year with no expectations on myself, you would be wrong. I came into the new year feeling worse than ever. Everyone else had a goal, a plan, but where was I? I was lost, aimless, I didn't know what to do with myself. Everyone else I knew had their resolutions to work on, I had nothing. I felt lazy, thinking I wasn't striving towards anything or accomplishing any goals. Boy was I wrong, in January alone I was more productive than ever before and that productive trend continued. I got things done, I saw my friends and (in my opinion the best one of the three) ate without feeling guilty! I just couldn't see it at the time because I was too close to it, I couldn't see how well my year was going because I was worrying. It wasn't until the end of that year, when everyone was talking about what their resolutions for the following year we're going to be, that I looked back and realised that everything had been amazing; it didn't fall apart, I didn't give up. I had done so much that year; what I needed to do, what I set my heart on getting done. Why? Because I was doing them at my pace, I was doing them with an open heart and min; there was no big, scary, stressful resolution hanging over my head. I couldn't fail because there was no set definition of failure if I messed up (which I did many times) it was okay, I looked at where I went wrong, got up decided if I wanted to try again and did it. No worrying, no stressing, no feeling ashamed.

The truth is for me resolutions are a pressure you don't need in your life, they are completely unnecessary. If you want to do something pray about it, ask God for his guidance then do it. The reason that resolutions didn't work for me was because they added stress to the thing I was trying to accomplish. Instead of enjoying the new year I was worried about breaking my resolution, instead of finding joy in my activities I was panicking about how I was not doing as well and I wanted to be and instead of having fun with the people around me I was hiding out of shame for not being able to do what I set out to do. If resolutions motivate you and make you feel good then I am really happy for you and wish you the best with the ones you make this year, but if your like me and struggle with them every year might I suggest you join me.

This year as I step into 2019 I am not going to be making a resolution. No promise, not to myself or to God. Instead, I will come to the Lord with an open heart and mind, I will ask Him to lead me in the new year and beyond. Because I know that His plan for me is the one I want in my life, the commitments He lays on my heart are the ones I want to go for and with Him keeping my path straight how can I go wrong? If you choose to join me, how could you go wrong?

I wish you all a very happy new year; my prayer for you is that you may step into 2019 with no fear of the future, that you give yourself to God and let him guide you throughout the year.

Happy New Year Everyone

What do you think about resolutions? Are they something you make and enjoy or something you look at and dread? Will you be joining me in making no resolutions? I would love to hear your thoughts on it.